Kids Say the Darndest Things...

"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390) 06/30/2015 at 12:45 • Filed to: Kids

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While on snack break with some of the kids I see a C6 Vette drive by with some racing logos on the side and point to it and say “Isn’t that an awesome looking car there?”. One kid, about 5 or 6 years old says “I don’t like cars because they pollute the trees. But airplanes are cool!”...... -_-

What shit are they teaching you in school nowadays?? I completely forgot and didn’t ever care about pollution in elementary school and I might care slightly more now. This crap was the first thing that came to my mind:

Is this filth still on TV? Kids these days....

WiscoProud > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2015 at 12:49

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Just point out to the little shit heel that his precious planes pollute the trees too AND they grind up birds.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > WiscoProud 06/30/2015 at 12:51

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Agent Orange....

/thread

Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready > WiscoProud 06/30/2015 at 12:52

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Judgement on whether or not the kid is a shit heel should be reserved until at least 10 years of age.

Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2015 at 12:52

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*facepalm*

WiscoProud > Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready 06/30/2015 at 12:54

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I think 10 is a good age for a official determination of shittiness, to be revisited at 16 and 21. After that, people don't really change...

Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready > WiscoProud 06/30/2015 at 12:56

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That makes sense.

Though mental maturity is not reached until around 25, acutally.

Textured Soy Protein > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/30/2015 at 13:01

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I watched the shit out of Captain Planet when I was a kid. Captain Planet is hilarious. Where else are you going to find ridiculous caricatures of bad guys who really love polluting things, for no reason, other than pollution for its own sake ? Plus look at all those great actors!

The Eco-Villains are a small group of antagonists who cause danger to the planet by committing pollution, deforestation, and poaching. They enjoy the destruction they cause to the planet and the harm they bring upon anyone by any means to obtain wealth, land, or power. Due to conflict among them from their varying self-serving interests and backgrounds, they tend to work alone most of the time, although episodes do show the villains enter into temporary alliances when it suits their plans. Only in a few episodes did the entire ensemble of Eco-Villains work as a team, with Zarm as kingpin. Each of these villains represent a specific ecological disaster. These include:

Hoggish Greedly (voiced by Edward Asner ) – A pig -like human who represents the dangers of overconsumption and greed, Hoggish is the first villain Captain Planet and the Planeteers encounter. In the episode “Smog Hog”, it’s revealed Hoggish has a son named Hoggish Greedly Jr. who appears only once. In the episode “Hog Tide,” it is revealed that he has a grandfather named Don Porkaloin (portrayed as a parody of Vito Corleone from The Godfather ) who in the past was defeated by another group of Planeteers. Unlike Hoggish Greedly, Porkaloin cleaned the slate and became environmentally friendly as shown in the episode “The Ghost of Porkaloin Past.”

Rigger (voiced by John Ratzenberger ) – Hoggish Greedly’s henchman. In the episode “The Ghost of Porkaloin Past,” Rigger mentioned that he worked with Greedly because no one else would hire him. In the episode “Hog Tide,” it is revealed that Rigger has a grandfather named Rex Rigger I who was an assistant to Don Porkaloin.

Verminous Skumm (voiced by Jeff Goldblum in 1990, Maurice LaMarche in 1991–1995) – The second villain to appear on the series, he is a part human, part rat creature whose human name is unknown; he represents the dangers of poor sanitation and crime. Skumm can control rats. He has a personal helicopter called The Scum O’Copter. Skumm is responsible for the death of Linka’s cousin, Boris.

The Rat Pack – A gang of humanoid rat thugs under the command of Skumm.

Dr. Blight (voiced by Meg Ryan in 1990, Mary Kay Bergman in 1991–1995) – A mad scientist with a half-scarred face hidden behind her hair who represents the dangers of uncontrolled technology and unethical scientific experimentation . In the episode “Hog Tide,” it is revealed that Dr. Blight had a grandmother named Betty Blight who assisted Don Porkaloin in his plot. In the episode “Hollywaste”, it is revealed that Dr. Blight has a sister named Bambi. Bambi calls Blight by her first name “Babs”, a shortened form of “Barbara”. She is the third villain to appear on the series.

MAL (voiced by David Rappaport in 1990, Tim Curry in 1991–1995) – Dr. Blight’s evil highly-intellectual supercomputer and a parody of HAL , the supercomputer from 2001: A Space Odyssey (In a twist of coincidence, Turner/Time Warner, the creators and rights holders of Captain Planet, are the owners and copyright holders of that film). MAL has control over computers, and can infect any computer with a virus.

Duke Nukem (voiced by Dean Stockwell in 1990–1992, Maurice LaMarche in 1993–1995) – A doctor who changed himself into a radioactive mutant who represents the misuse of nuclear power . He is one of the few Eco-Villains, along with Zarm and Captain Pollution, able to single-handedly defeat Captain Planet. Nukem generates radiation to fire off radioactive blasts from his hands and possesses X-Ray vision. Apogee temporarily renamed the eponymous character of the Duke Nukem computer game franchise to ‘Duke Nukum’ so as to avoid any possible trademark claims they could face from the producers of Captain Planet. The character was later found to be under no trademark and the games were restored to their original titles. [14]

Leadsuit (voiced by Frank Welker ) – Duke Nukem’s cowardly accomplice who is named after the radiation suit he constantly wears to protect himself from Nukem’s radioactive aura. He works for Duke under the belief he will rule the world alongside his boss when he brings about the nuclear age.

Looten Plunder (voiced by James Coburn in 1990–1992, Ed Gilbert in 1993–1995) – A wealthy poacher and crooked businessman who represents the evils of unethical business actions, his name is even a reference of the phrase “Loot and Plunder.” He is the fourth villain to appear on Captain Planet . Looten is also shown to have a nephew named Robin Plunder as seen in the episode “Going Bats, Man.”

Argos Bleak (voiced by S. Scott Bullock ) – Looten Plunder’s main henchman, pilot, and leader of Plunder’s private army. In the episode “The Predator,” he appeared without Looten Plunder when it came to tricking the people of the Florida Keys that basking sharks are deadly, making him the only Eco-villain sidekick to have his own episode. Executive Producers Barbara Pyle and Nick Boxer have confirmed that Argos Bleak is a product of mixed races with his mother being Australian, father being South African and studying in boarding school in England, leading to development of his accent.

Pinehead Brothers (voiced by Dick Gautier and Frank Welker ) – Oakey and Dokey are two oversized lumberjacks that are Looten Plunder’s henchmen in the final season of The New Adventures of Captain Planet .

Sly Sludge (voiced by Martin Sheen in 1990–1992, Jim Cummings in 1993–1995) – An unscrupulous waste collector who represents ignorance and the dangers of short-term thinking.

Ooze (voiced by Cam Clarke ) – Sly Sludge’s sidekick.

Tank Flusher III (voiced by Frank Welker ) – Sly Sludge’s strongman servant who makes his debut in “The New Adventures of Captain Planet” episode “A Mine is a Terrible Thing to Waste” Pt. 1.

Zarm (voiced by Sting in 1990–1992, David Warner in 1993, Malcolm McDowell in 1994–1995) – A former spirit of the planet who left Gaia in search of other worlds and ended up laying other populous planets to ruin lacking Gaia to balance out his methods. He represents war and destruction . Even though Zarm does not have any henchmen of his own, he would often manipulate other people to do his bidding. He once united Hoggish Greedly, Looten Plunder, Sly Sludge, Duke Nukem, Verminous Skumm, and Dr. Blight under his leadership in the two-part episode “Summit to Save Earth”. Zarm is the last Eco-Villain to appear in the series.

A polluting counterpart to Captain Planet named “ Captain Pollution ” appears in the two-part episode Mission to Save Earth when Dr. Blight steals the Planeteers’ rings, creates polluting duplicates of them, and distributes the duplicates to most of the other Eco-villains. Each Eco-villain received a specific ring:

Duke Nukem has a Super Radiation Ring (counterpart of Fire).

Looten Plunder has a Deforestation Ring (counterpart of Earth). In the comic book version Looten Plunder let his employee use the ring for him.

Sly Sludge has a Smog Ring (counterpart of Wind). In the comic book version involving Captain Pollution, Sludge was replaced by Hoggish Greedly. [ citation needed ]

Verminous Skumm has a Toxics Ring (counterpart of Water).

Dr. Blight has a Hate Ring (counterpart of Heart).

Each of the evil rings have malevolent faces on them, in contrast to the more element-themed Planeteer rings. Captain Pollution is weakened when he is in contact with pure elements such as clean water or sunlight, while he gains power from contact with pollutants, being able to absorb pollutant and emit radioactive rays (and is later shown to gain power without limit when in contact with pollutants after his resurrection). When he is summoned he says “By your polluting powers combined, I am Captain Pollution! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”, and when he disappears, he declares “The polluting power is yours!”

In his first appearance, he is sent by the Eco-villains to destroy the Planeteers but gets chased off by Commander Clash, and after a fight with Captain Planet, he returns to the evil rings causing them to explode. In the two-part episode “A Mine is a Terrible Thing to Waste”, Captain Pollution is brought back to life by toxins of the 5 evil rings that seep into the planet.

Captain Pollution resembles Captain Planet, but his skin is pale yellow, and covered in brown lesions. His hair is red, and styled in a Widow’s peak and he has red eyes. His costume is the same color and style as Planet’s, but the chest is torn in the middle, with two halves of a cracked version of Planet’s chest symbol on either side. His voice has a California Valley twang to it. Captain Pollution is defeated twice by Captain Planet; first in Mission to Save Earth by being rammed through earth, lava, air and water, and then again in A Mine is a Terrible Thing to Waste by being tricked into going into an underground magma chamber.

Like his good counterpart, Captain Pollution is voiced by David Coburn in both appearances. Coburn used a surfer-dude voice for Captain Pollution. In the comic book version, Captain Pollution was created by Zarm.